Stepping Heavenward – Elizabeth Prentiss   Leave a comment

I must get to reading all my books for the Spring Read.  Here is an excerpt from Stepping Heavenward:

Feb. 7. – After writing that, I do not know what made me go to see Dr. Cabot.  He received me in that cheerful way of his that seems to promise the taking of one’s burden right off one’s back.

“I am very glad to see you, my dear child,” he said.

I intended to be very dignified and cold. As if I was going to have any of Dr. Cabot’s undertaking to sympathize with me! But those few kind words just upset me, and I began to cry.

“You would not speak so kindly,” I got out at last, “if you knew what a dreadful creature I am.  I am angry with myself, and angry with everybody, and angry with God. I can’t be good two minutes at a time.  I do everything I do not want to do, and do nothing I try and pray to do.  Everybody plagues me and tempts me. And God does not answer any of my prayers, and I am just desperate.”

“Poor child!” he said, in a low voice, as if to himself. “Poor, heartsick, tired child, that cannot see what I can see, that its Father’s loving arms are all about it?”

I stopped crying to strain my ears and listen.  He went on.

“Katy, all that you say may be true. I dare say it is. But God loves you.  He loves you.”

“He loves me,” I repeated to myself. “He loves me! Oh, Dr. Cabot, if I could only believe that! If I could believe that, after all the promises I have broken, all the foolish, wrong things I have done, and shall always be doing. God perhaps still loves me!”

 “You may be sure of it,” he said solemnly.  “I, His minister, bring the gospel to you today. Go home and say over and over to yourself, ‘I am a wayward foolish child.  But He loves me! I have disobeyed and grieved Him ten thousand times over. But He loves me! I have lost faith in some of my dearest friends and am very desolate.  But He loves me! I do not love Him, I am very angry with Him! But He loves me!”

I came away, and all the way home I fought this battle with myself saying, “He loves me!” I knelt down to pray, and all my wasted, childish, wicked life came and stared me in the face. I looked at it and said with tears of joy, “But He loves me!” Never in my life did I feel so rested, so quieted, so sorrowful, and yet so satisfied.

Remember always, dear child, God Loves You!

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Posted March 27, 2007 by Lana G! in Books, Christianity, Jesus, Life, Quotes, Reading

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